The following 50 behaviors are signs that you or a loved one may be hooked on Humboldt. Each by itself may be a harmless eccentricity, but taken together these are red flags of addiction.

  1. You refer to your cubicle at work as a “goose pen.”
  2. You fast for three days to get ready to “do the Cookhouse.”
  3. You know the difference between a Queen Anne and an Eastlake.
  4. The world’s tallest tree has a name—and you know it.
  5. You trick your kids into going hiking by “looking for Ewoks.”
  6. You can name the Six Rivers, north to south.
  7. You always need a wetsuit where you surf.
  8. You own growlers from four different breweries.
  9. There’s a jar full of beach agates in your kitchen.
  10. You own a canoe or kayak—and actually use it.
  11. You work all year on your oyster call.
  12. You force your entire family to go pick blackberries.
  13. You call any tree under 8 feet in diameter a “sprout.”
  14. At sporting events you yell “Go Crabs!” no matter who is playing.
  15. You think fireworks look better in the fog.
  16. You think if it’s not locally owned and roasted, it’s not coffee.
  17. You never, ever schedule something on the first Saturday of the month.
  18. You take binoculars to the beach—to make sure you’re alone.
  19. When you get on your bicycle you yell “For the glory!
  20. You think banana slugs are kinda cute.
  21. You’re painting a mural on the side of your garage.
  22. Your chiropractor tells you to “stop looking up.”
  23. You know where Jurassic Park 2 and Outbreak were filmed.
  24. You won’t shave your beard because it’s “old growth.”
  25. You own Fire & Light place settings for 16.
  26. You take boots, sneakers and river sandals on the same hike.
  27. You own CDs by Dr. Squid, Kulica and Spudgun.
  28. You know someone who has encountered Bigfoot.
  29. You know where “Cream City” is and what “Butterfat Palaces” are.
  30. You’ve been forcibly removed from the Harper Ford merry-go-round.
  31. You think San Francisco gas prices are reasonable.
  32. You always swim naked.
  33. You own a painting by Bill the Chimp.
  34. You warn people to keep back from the elk, but they don’t listen.
  35. You consume over 50 lbs. of goat cheese annually.
  36. To you a “rhody” is not someone traveling with a band.
  37. You know the difference between Founders’ Grove and Founders’ Hall.
  38. Your car has a “U.S. out of Humboldt” bumper sticker.
  39. You’ve actually been inside the Carson Mansion.
  40. You own redwood burl art and a chainsaw carving.
  41. You’ve been through all three Drive-Thru Trees.
  42. You’ve made out on the Madaket.
  43. You know where three fake lighthouses are.
  44. There’s a brick with you name on it at the MGMA.
  45. You have counted the growth rings on a 12’ redwood slice.
  46. You have an HSU hoodie though you didn’t go to school there.
  47. When no-one is looking, you actually do hug trees.
  48. You go bird watching at a sewage treatment plant.
  49. You’ve made a meal out of samples at the Cheese Factory.
  50. When the temperature tops 70, you complain about the heat.

50 Warning Signs



Have you been through all three Drive-Through Trees? You might be Hooked On Humboldt!